Halloween is just around the corner, and for many children, that means a season filled with costumes, imagination, and make-believe. One day they’re a superhero, the next they’re a dragon, a veterinarian, or a wizard. While it may look like they’re simply having fun, there’s actually something much bigger going on.
Maria Montessori famously described play as “the work of the child.” It may not look like work to adults, but through play, children learn about themselves, their relationships, and the world around them. They build problem-solving skills, practice managing emotions, develop communication skills, and learn how to cooperate with others. For children, play isn’t a break from learning. It is one of the primary ways learning happens.
Imaginative play is especially important. When children create stories, invent characters, or pretend to be someone else, they are exploring ideas, feelings, and experiences in ways that make sense to them. A child pretending to run a restaurant isn’t just being cute. They’re practicing communication, creativity, planning, and social skills all at the same time.
As parents, however, play can sometimes feel a little harder.
Many of us spend our days juggling responsibilities, schedules, work, errands, and endless to-do lists. Somewhere along the way, we may have started to believe that being an adult means being productive and serious all the time. We can forget how to be playful, curious, and imaginative ourselves.
The good news is that playing with our children doesn’t mean we have to spend hours sitting on the floor with toy figures, unless that’s something we enjoy. Play can take many forms. It might be building with LEGO, playing a board game, kicking a ball around the backyard, creating a silly story together, going on a nature walk, putting on costumes, or simply sharing a good laugh. The best kind of play is often whatever feels enjoyable and natural for both parent and child.
Play is also one of the most powerful ways we build connection with our children. When we enter their world, even for a few minutes, we send a simple but important message: I enjoy being with you.
That connection can make a big difference during the tougher moments, too. Parenting expert Lawrence Cohen encourages parents to think about how playfulness can be used as part of parenting and discipline. Sometimes a playful approach can be more effective than a power struggle. A child may respond better to a challenge, a game, or a little humour than they do to repeated reminders and growing frustration. Playfulness doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It simply means using connection as a tool to help guide behaviour.
Halloween gives us a wonderful excuse to practice. It is one of the few times each year when adults are invited into the world of imagination right alongside their children. We can wear the costume, make the funny voice, tell the spooky story, and join the adventure.
This month, give yourself permission to play a little more. Follow your child’s lead. Be silly. Be curious. Build the fort. Wear the cape. You may discover that play isn’t just good for children. It’s pretty good for grown-ups, too.